This is the first post that I’m categorizing under “Advanced Techniques.” That is not to suggest they are the exclusive domain of expert public speakers but rather an acknowledgement that they should be addressed only after the fundamentals are secured. In other words, if you don’t yet know how to structure a brief, don’t stress over topics like this. Think of advanced techniques like visual effects in movies. Good visual effects enhance a good movie, but they can’t save a bad one, and bad visual effects will only hurt a film regardless of quality. Likewise, flashy graphics and slick slide decks can enhance a good presentation, but they can hurt a speech is any quality if your content and delivery aren’t any good. Make sure you have a hold of the basics before attempting anything greater. Better a serviceable slide deck and proficient delivery than great slides with a mediocre brief.
Why Worry?
Why do word choice and word order matter? I think of the many students who argue that, as long as it makes sense and you get your point across, word choice and word order are irrelevant. To them, I usually reply, that’s why you’re learning from me and not the other way around. An example I use to drive the point home involves expressions of gratitude under less than ideal circumstances. Suppose you had to complete a task at work, particularly a difficult or time-consuming one. The day comes when the task needs to be completed or when the result is supposed to go live. Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances or decisions by others above you or your boss, the task ends up being unused entirely. Which of these two statements would you rather hear from your boss?
Thanks for doing that task, but we don’t need it.
– or –
We don’t need it, but thanks for doing that task.
The word choice is the same, but the order makes a big difference. As the saying goes, “Everything before the ‘but’ doesn’t matter.” In the first version of the phrase, the last message an employee hears is that their work was useless. In the second version, the employee hears that, while it went unused, the work was still of value. Just as it impacts interpersonal relationships, word choice and order can have a significant impact on your presentation. Let’s explore how.
Diction
Let’s start with word choice. Shakespeare’s Hamlet says that “Brevity is the soul of wit,” and there’s a reason we still quote it over four hundred years later. When choosing your words, follow three simple guidelines:
- Context is critical.
- Be as specific as possible.
- Never use two words when one will do.
This is a three-legged stool. Knock out any guideline, and the other two don’t matter. Being specific and brief without context will leave people wondering what you mean. Being brief and contextual will leave people wondering what, exactly, you’re trying to say. Being specific and contextual without brevity will lose people along the way, and they won’t retain whatever you’re trying to tell them
Here’s an example to illustrate the importance of context. When I took over a unit, one of my first challenges was improving my troops’ writing, especially for performance reviews. I would routinely see performance statements like “processed 500 files.” I would look at my team and say, “Is 500 a lot?” They would start to answer, giving explanations of how many files were processed under certain circumstances, what a file was, what they did with them, and so on. I would let them finish their diatribe and say, “Sure – but none of that is in the report. Based only on what you’ve written, is 500 a lot?” The problem with numbers is that they mean nothing without a point of comparison. If the average analyst processed 500 files a day and one of my troops processed 200, we would ask questions about whether they were doing their job properly, if their equipment was functioning properly, if they needed more training, and so on. By the same token, if a troop processed 700 files in a day, we would want to capture whatever they did and try to replicated it across the unit.
Another area where context matters is degree, e.g., good, better, best, and this is where we start talking about specificity as well. Which is faster? Very fast or blazing fast? Most audiences would say blazing is faster, which is why we see advertisements using flames to invoke images of speed for everything from courier services to internet. What about blazing fast versus lightning fast? Now the distinction gets hazier. My initial reaction would be to say lightning is faster, but I could also describe lightning as “blazing through the sky,” so that doesn’t clarify anything. One of my favorite corporate-speak tricks is when people use percentages or multiples to inflate an impact. For example, “Increased by 100%” could mean that a team was doubled in size from twelve to twenty-four in order to meet customer demand, or it could mean working two hours instead of one. As the internet meme goes, “Is 4 a lot? Depends on context. Dollars no, murders yes.”
Pairing context and specificity is important, but without brevity you run the risk of people forgetting your message or tuning out altogether. Think of any meeting that could have been an email. Even if the meeting organizer provided plenty of specific, contextual information, no one wanted to action it because she took an hour to say what could have been communicated in five minutes or less. To really get after brevity, though, we need to talk about word order. They why will become apparent shortly.
Syntax
It’s not enough to have the right words – you have to put them in the right order for maximum effectiveness, and you want to express your ideas as succinctly as possible. Consider the following two statements:
Version 1: The team conducted seven weeks of research, exercising a budget of three million dollars to gather the appropriate level of data necessary to verify that their experimental cure for cancer was effective.
Version 2: The team cured cancer in seven weeks for three million dollars.
It’s an absurd example, but it’s intentionally exaggerated to drive home the point that order and brevity matter. Too often the point of any speech or presentation gets so deeply buried in background information, technical detail, and poor organization that the audience can’t tell what the speaker is trying to say. When coaching speakers, I encourage them to put the most impactful statement up front, like the cancer statement above. Novice speakers often argue that they want to “build” to their point. You are not Christopher Nolan, and you don’t have three and a half hours to tell Oppenheimer’s story. You have five minutes in front of your prospective client, and if they don’t know why they’re listening within the first thirty seconds, they’ll tune out at minimum and possibly ask you to leave.
Accordingly, there are also three best practices to word order:
- Impact first
- Build for effect
- Remove articles and prepositions where possible
Impact first is illustrated above with the cancer example, but what do rules 2 and 3 mean?
Building for effect works with the brain’s natural preference for logical progression. Imagine if the Twelve Days of Christmas were not in numerical order. How hard would it be to remember? The same principle applies to measures of degree. Consider sayings like “Good investors feel happy when they make a profit, great investors feel nothing.” The good to great progression is very pleasing to the human mind. Another example would be the good/better/best meme format, i.e., with Vince McMahon or the expanding brain format.
Removing articles and prepositions is all about taking out as many instances of a, an, the, of, from, and so on as possible. For example, instead of “Members of the development team worked with products coming from the factory,” a better version is “Development team members used factory parts.” The statement is shorter by half, easier to read, and gets the point across faster. Even that last sentence can be rewritten to say “It’s half as long, more readable, and conveys meaning faster.”
While there are no hard and fast rules for constructing speeches, the above guidelines will help you craft effective statements that get your point across succinctly, clearly, and effectively.